First,by analyzing the two drafts you will notice that they have differentheadings. The first draft is titled “whohas the better burger?”and the second one “whohas the healthier burger,”which is specific and concise.
Anotheraspect that is different from the two drafts is the in-text citation.The first draft quotes information without citation, but the seconddraft gives credit to the source.
Moreover,the first draft plainly uses words to express its arguments while thesecond one uses both graphs and words. This makes the information inthe second draft easier to read and understand as data is comparable.
Afterreading the Annlee’s drafts, I realized there was some informationin the first paragraph that I did not cite, “the pound of flesh.”Furthermore, instead of having “The Merchant of Venice,” as thetitle for my essay, I would have chosen one, which is specific.